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Why I Fired My Secretary
Two weeks ago, was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn't feeling too hot that
morning anyway. I went into breakfast, knowing my wife would be pleasant and
say Happy Birthday and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say
Good Morning, let alone any Happy Birthday. I said, well, that's wives for you.
The children will remember. The children came into breakfast and didn't say a
word. When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As
I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy
Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until
noon. About noon Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know it's such a
beautiful day outside and it's your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me."
I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go." We
went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go; we went out into the country
to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day.
We don't need to go back to the office. Do we?" I said, "No, I guess not."
She said, "Let's go to my apartment." After arriving at her apartment, we had
another martini and smoked a cigarette and she said, "Boss, if you don't mind,
I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable." "Sure,"
I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and in about six minutes, she came
out... carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife and children. All were
singing Happy Birthday... and there on the couch I sat... with nothing on but my socks.
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