Down South Tooling Around Farmer and The Boy Farmer's Dayvorce Scottish Old Timer Why I Fired My Secretary The Sparrow The Wife Potential and Reality Man Goes To The Store Young Couple You Can't Fool Mom New Church Car in Heaven A "French" Story Man Speeding Hearing vs. Listening Chinese Laundry The Three Samurai The Cowboy The Parrot Rany the Rooster Such a Wonderful Story! Shampoo... The Snail Christmas Joke

Scottish Old Timer A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man. Old Man: "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands, piled it for months. But do they call me McGregor-the-Fence-Builder? Nooo.." Then the old man gestured at the bar. "Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labor, for eight days. But do they call me McGregor-the-Bar-builder? Nooo..." Then the old man points out the window. "Eh, Laddy, look out to sea. Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGregor-the-Pier-Builder? Nooo... " Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention. "But ya fuck one sheep . . . "